Do Boy Scouts Pump?

Okay, this is going to be a short one because I'm still swamped with that work project. But I feel bad because I didn't post at all yesterday, and I'm really trying hard to post everyday (mostly because I suspect blogging is much like exercising...you make an excuse to miss one day and all off a sudden it's been 3 months since you posted). We went down to my sister-in-law's yesterday and introduced the Cookie to her first swimming pool. Once she got used to the water it was fine, until it was time to take her out. The child is not fond of being chilly. This trip necessitated my pumping in SIL's bathroom (surprisingly comfortable) and the backseat of the truck (unsurprisingly uncomfortable). I hadn't planned on the backseat pump, but had thrown an extra set of pumping accoutrements in my bag on a whim, and a good thing, too, because we hit a ton of traffic and I'd've been doing my last pump of the evening at 1am otherwise! So that's...

Today's Tip: Be overprepared. If it's something that's going to be difficult or impossible to get or clean on the road, bring at least one extra. You may look like a sherpa, but at least your baby won't be wearing your Hermes scarf as a diaper and drinking your latte. Also, if you're going somewhere and taking your pump (meaning you're planning on being away from the house for more than a pump interval) make sure your batteries are charged or you have spares, even if where you're going has power. You never know when you're going to get stuck using the battery pack.

So...Tired...

I don't know how much this is due to EPing and how much it is due to just being a new mom, but I suspect quite a bit of both. And also some to do with being really freaked out by big bugs.

So last night the cookie wakes up at 2am. This is my shift (in case I haven't explained it before, I take everything from when DH goes to bed until 3am, then he takes everything from 3am 'til he leaves for work at 6:45, and we share the rest of the time. This is one of the things I love about pumping -- we can do this.), so I crawl out of bed and sure enough, she's wide awake. First step, diaper change. Mega full diaper, so I'm not worried about her peeing on me (little boys have nothing on my cookie when it comes to waterworks). Big mistake. So I finish changing her, including her now wet outfit, and we head over to the comfy rocking chair.

Where I discover mistake number 2. I forgot to put a bottle on before the diaper changing caper. So now she's really awake and crying for a bottle, because this is a Departure From Routine. Warm bottle, feed cookie (who sucks down four ounces like I haven't fed her in two days), give apres midnight-snack binkie (which usually calms her right down and sends her into the Land of Nod). Time: 2:30.

The cookie indeed calms right down and appears to be in the Land of Nod (I can tell because she's loosened her death grip on my finger). So I stand up to put her in the crib. She wakes up immediately. We play this game for about 20 minutes. She finally goes to sleep at...2:59. And then it's time for me to pump.

So I turn the monitor back on and head downstairs. Now, all I want to do is sleep, which I can actually do while I pump, but I have this huge project for work I need to get done (which I should be working on right now, as a matter of fact...). So I hook myself up to Flo (named after the sassy waitress from Mel's Diner -- anything I spend this much time with needs a name) and flip open the laptop. Because I'm more interested in procrastinating than working I check a thread over on the aforementioned message board (see my first couple of entries on this blog) that has been brought to my attention -- apparently I'm not the only one who feels discouraged by the tone of some of the posts over there -- and find myself in the middle of a conversation that looks like it has serious flamewar potential. Now, I don't want to be in a flamewar. That's no fun, and frankly, I don't have the time or energy to waste on it. So I start a reply intended to douse the flames. All of a sudden, I see a huge bug scamper under my chair. Fast. And big. Did I mention how huge it was? Seriously, this mother's like 2 inches long. Not a roach, but some kind of freaky millipede thing they have up here in the Northeast US. I've seen them before and they totally wig me out. So this one is under my chair. While I'm trying to relax and pump. Now, if you're scared of bugs like I am, you understand that all I can think about at this point is this huge freaky bug crawling across my foot or, god forbid, up my leg. Shudder. This all goes through my mind and is followed by "DON"T SCREAM!" as I jump up out of the chair, causing Rightie's horn to dislodge (I use the rubberband hands-free method, which I will discuss at some length in a later post, I promise).

I get Rightie situated again, but there is No. Freakin'. Way. I am sitting back down in that chair, because the nasty, huge, gross thing is still lurking under there, waiting to attack. So I pick up the PIS bag (I am fortunately plugged in to an extension cord) and move to the couch. But I still can't stop thinking about this thing. The way it moves reminds of the space herpe in Ice Pirates. And I just know it's going to attack me on the couch. Plus, the couch is black leather, so it's not like I can easily see it as it comes shimmying up the arm at me. I just barely managed to hang on to my nerves long enough to get 30 minutes on the pump (my goal right now is 45/pump). I put everything away and head back up to bed. Time: 3:45, give or take.

But now I still can't stop thinking about this freakin' bug. I mean, this thing is in my house. It can make it up the stairs...or the vent system...and come right into our bedroom...or the cookie's room...the COOKIE! It's going after the cookie! I know it is...I have to go in there and protect her. Even if I have to stay up all night...but what if I fall asleep and it gets her anyhow...am I a bad mom because somehow this crazy-ass huge nasty space herpe bug got into my house and now wants to eat my baby? Of course, there is a sensible voice in my head that's arguing with the crazy voice. So this all takes another half hour or so. The crazy voice was winning and I was just about to get up and go in there to sit in the comfy chair when she woke up and DH headed in to start his shift. Time: 4:15.

And that's why I'm so...tired...

The Girls

...or "My Boobs and Me"
...or "A Tale of Two Titties"

Guess what I'm blogging about today? That's right -- Leftie and Rightie. I know, not the most original names, but I think it would just be weird to name them something like "Ethel" and "Mabel" (in large part because I know I'd keep forgetting which was which) and I have to differentiate them somehow.

So, Leftie has always been my favorite. She's a little perkier, a little prettier. DH said I'd give Rightie a complex, but I just couldn't help it. Leftie looks like what I want a boob to look like. But I thought may Rightie would come through with high milk production and show Leftie that it's not all about the pretty. Wrong. From the beginning, Leftie produced just a little bit more than Rightie at every pump. Then 2 weeks in to EPing, Rightie got mastitis. My husband walks in from work one night to see me lying on the couch whispering to the baby sleeping in the bassinet next to me, "Please sleep 'til Daddy gets home. Please sleep 'til Daddy gets home." When he asked what was wrong, I told him I hadn't been feeling well and thought I might have a fever. The thermometer proved me right...104 and rising. A call to the doc got me going on ibuprofen (for the fever) and antibiotics (for the mastitis), and I was right as rain again in a few days.

Except for...Rightie. I pumped through the mastitis, as one is supposed to do. I wasn't getting much from Rightie due to the clogged duct that caused the mastitis, but it was working its way out. Then I discovered that my horns were too small, something the LC never told me about. I ordered a new larger set (not realizing they were available at the local baby superstore - ladies, take this as a lesson from me: if you need something quickly, call around locally and find out if they have it before you order it), but by the time they arrived, I had friction blisters on the tip of my right nipple (not to be confused with blebs). Yeah, you know when you get new shoes and your coworkers decide that's the day to walk halfway across town for lunch and you get that horrible blister on your heel? That blister was on my nipple. The entire tip at one point was filled with that clear fluid.

Of course, you can't pump through that, so I had to (shudder) pop the blister and drain the fluid before each pump and every 10 minutes during the pump (at that time I typically pumped for 30 minutes/session). Rightie was not giving good production during that time, for what I think are obvious reasons, but Leftie was more than making up for it and I was still able to feed the cookie my milk exclusively.

Rightie finally healed up, but never really seemed to recover her former production capability until recently. For some reason, lately she's been just about even with Leftie, and occasionally a little ahead. But Leftie seems to resent this. All of a sudden, I have to do compressions on Leftie 5 or six times a pump (I dropped a pump, so now I pump 6x/day for 45 minutes each instead of 7x/30 min.). I'm still getting good production and emptying, but only with compressions. Darn that Leftie. Hopefully she'll get over it soon and I'll be getting plenty from both.

Today's tip: Make sure your labor and delivery nurse(s) knows and can arrange for a machine to be brought to you -- before you deliver, if possible (you won't use it until after, but it'll be there whenever you decide you're ready. I didn't think to do this and ended up having to wait a full day to get mine.). Also make sure the nursery nurses know you're doing this and will feed the EBM first in the nursery if you're not rooming in (they'll also usually wake you up to pump if you ask nicely). I cannot recommend strongly enough that you not room in. These will be your last nights to sleep for a very long time. Take advantage.

Best Laid Plans

Sorry there was no post yesterday -- it was a rough one. First, we had the financial advisor coming over and the house hasn't been cleaned in, let's see, how old is the cookie? Right, three months. So I started to clean Sunday but really didn't get much done, as Chris (that's my baby daddy -- you'll see him mentioned a lot here in future posts, I'm sure) had to go to work and feed the dogs (junkyard. has dogs. must needs feed them.), and then he had stuff he needed to do around the house, too. Oh, yeah, and I was trying to install the light fixture in the dining room -- making every room in the house fully functional, woo-hoo! -- and (another long story), couldn't do it without the original hardware which of course is nowhere to be found.

So Monday morning, I had to take the cookie to the pediatrician for a well visit, and they were out of the pertussis vaccine last time I was there so we had to do it this time. She wasn't bad -- I mean, she screamed bloody murder, but only for a few minutes and then she calmed down again and I was able to go to the lighting store and get a new fixture. So I come home and pump, which she sleeps through (good girl!), and then change/feed/burp her and put her down in her gymini -- if you don't have one of these, get one. Awesome place to put her down for a few minutes because there's no strapping in, and she loves it. Then I install the new fixture. This all goes smoothly and it's only 1pm, so I figure I'm doing pretty well and should at least be able to get the downstairs presentable. I've had to adjust my pumping schedule so that I'll pump at 2:30 and 5:30 and then not again until 10:00, but I still figure I'm doing okay on time.

Then she starts with the fussy talk. All of a sudden, my sweet, happy-to-play-in-the-gymini baby needs to be held. No problem. I hold her for about half an hour (and take this opportunity to grab a sandwich), she drifts off, I put her down in the crib. Scream. Pick her up. Smile, laugh, coo, drift off. Down in crib. Scream. This goes on until 2:30, when I finally put her in her swing and she actually goes back to sleep without screaming for me. At this point I realize that it's 2:30 and I haven't cleaned a single thing yet, and there's no way the house is going to be even moderately presentable if I pump twice before the guy comes. So I decide to combine the two pumps into a 4:30 pump. I did get the house at least picked up, mostly, and the room we met in was clean, so I'm okay with it. But you can see where there was really no time for blogging until now.

Today's tip: Your pumping schedule does not have to be written in stone. Think about this: you're trying to simulate the way a baby would be removing milk from your body. How many babies do you know that eat at exactly the same times everyday, for exactly 20 minutes (or half an hour, or whatever)? Well, everybody knows one, but most babies vary their schedules. This means it's okay (maybe even desirable) for you to have a little variation, too. Just make sure your minutes/day stay about the same, and try not to actually drop pumps if at all possible.

Top Ten Reasons EPing is easier than BFing for me

Now, I'm not going to say that EP is better for baby than BFing, because it's not. There are certain immunological and orthodontic advantages that can only be had by placing baby to breast. However, I'm a firm believer in happy mommy=happy baby, and EPing makes me much happier than BFing for these reasons:

10. I can have wine with dinner every now and again because I know exactly when my next pump is going to be (and I can delay it if necessary).

9. Even though I have to get up in the middle of the night to pump, I can do it on my schedule instead of hers, especially now that she's sleeping longer.

8. I can leave her home on weekends while I go run errands and not worry about what my poor husband's going to do if she gets noshy.

7. I don't have to worry about making other people uncomfortable in public. Yeah, I know, breastfeeding in public is every woman's right, yadda, yadda, but I don't like making people uncomfortable. It's rude. And incidentally, I have pumped in public (on the train), but because it's a machine instead of a baby, no one really knows what's going on, or even notices anything strange.

6. I know how much she's eating. This gives me some peace of mind.

5. No worries about nipple confusion.

4. The pump always latches properly.

3. I have built-in breaks in my schedule. Pumping is not the most fun thing in the world, but it forces me to sit down and do close to nothing (writing in this blog, reading, occasionally knitting).

2. If (when) my nipples get sore, I can ease up on the suction and give them a little rest.

1. I can feed her in a moving vehicle without worrying about her hurting me or vice versa.

Today's tip: make sure both your ob and pediatrician know you're planning to do this. Don't just tell them once, tell them repeatedly.

History final

Unfortunately, that board started to change recently, as mentioned in my first post. Now every time I go there and see someone like me, someone who has made the decision that pumping is a better choice for her and her child, rather than getting simple answers to simple questions she is bombarded with "encouragement" to try breastfeeding instead "at least at first." Are there some legitimate reasons to try breastfeeding at first? Of course there are: colustrum is thick and therefore difficult to pump (especially since your body's new to this whole pumping thing anyway); babies typically stimulate and empty a breast more effectively than a pump, which will give you a better supply when you start pumping; etc. and so on.

But the people asking for information have already decided that breastfeeding is not for them, for whatever reason. It is rude and offensive to invalidate their decision by telling them over and over how much harder EPing is than BFing (it's not, at least for me -- see tomorrow's post for my top ten reasons why not). Incidentally, it sems like the people doing this are the ones who would rather be BFing but are forced to EP for medical or other reasons. Look, I know you want to BF so bad it hurts, but please, don't project on to the rest of us.

So, finally, that's why I'm here. I hope to make this a place where moms who want to exclusively pump can come and have their decision supported. If you'd rather be breastfeeding, this is not the place for you. Oh, you're welcome to come hang out, check out the tips and tricks (one of which I will be including at the end of each post from here on out), use the resources and so on, but comments about how to get back to BFing, or why you should try BFing first will not be tolerated. That information is readily available elsewhere on the web (Google it, fer cryin' out loud) -- this is not the place for it. You really want to post it that bad, start your own blog.

Today's Tip: If you are using the Medela system and experiencing nipple soreness, you may need larger horns. How to tell, from the Medela website: http://www.medela.com/NewFiles/faq/breastshield_fit.html

And on we go...

So I Googled, and I found this great community of women who exclusively pump breastmilk for their babies (note: "exclusive" refers to pumping vs. putting the baby to breast, not breastmilk vs. formula). They were (and still are) a great bunch of gals, willing to offer tips and opinions and links to other great sites with lots of info about pumping breastmilk. I read a bunch of the posts, and decided that EPing was definitely for me.

My daughter was born via unscheduled c-section, so I hadn't yet picked up my rental pump. Because she was born in the evening, the hospital's lactation consultants were home tucked in bed, dreaming of sugar plums (or whatever LCs dream about), and so my baby girl was introduced to formula. Now, I knew from everything I read that I would probably have to supplement her for at least the first week, so I wasn't all that annoyed. Until the next day, when I explained to all of my nurses and anyone else who came within 5 feet of me that I needed a breast pump now.

A lactation consultant finally showed up at 4:30 in the afternoon with a machine in tow. After haranguing me about whether I had really researched this enough and, gee, was I really sure I didn't want to just give breastfeeding a whirl? (I thought my wonderful, fabulous husband was going to deck her at one point) she finally deigned to give me rudimentary instructions. That was the last I saw of a lactation consultant.

Fortunately, my breasts seem quite happy to produce milk for a pump instead of a baby -- not all women are so lucky. Within a week I was producing enough to keep up with little Becky, and within a month I was able to start freezing some extra. But I couldn' t have done it without the great gals over at the iVillage Exclusively Pumping board. When I got horrible blisters on my nipples after a bout of mastitis, they were the ones who pointed me in the right direction. That's where I found out, too, that not only did I not have to turn the suction all the way up and feel like my nipples are getting yanked right off, it's actually better to keep the suction down!!! Thanks, hospital lactation consultant -- you might have mentioned that and saved me some discomfort. Questions about pumps, horns, schedules? This is the place to be.

Intro: What's It All About

I have been feeding my daughter expressed breastmilk exclusively for nearly 3 months. In that time, I have seen a message board for moms who pump exclusively deteriorate into a message board for moms who pump because they can't breastfeed and really wish they could.

Well, maybe it's not quite that bad: a lot of the new posters seem to want to choose EPing, but are put off by the attitude of some of the older posters: that EPing should only be a last resort and only used when necessary. I disagree, quite strongly. I am not anti-breastfeeding, but I am tired of BFers saying things like, "It's really easier..." "You really should think about..." "You'll change your mind once you're a mom..." so I decided to start this blog, where I can rant and rave to my heart's content, and others who are making the same choice I made can come and see that it's a great choice for some moms.

My story up to this point:

When I was still pregnant, I started thinking about how I was going to feed my baby. There are two main reasons I decided to express, or pump, instead of just breastfeeding the normal way:

1. I have never been comfortable with the idea or breastfeeding. Just the idea of a person sucking milk out of me creeps me out. Before all you La Lechers freak out on me, I didn't say breastfeeding is creepy, I said for me its not the right thing. It gives me a wiggins, the same way spiders do. And just like on an intellectual level I know spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, so too do I know that breastfeeding is beautiful and natural. But just like I scream and freak out when I see even a teeny tiny spider, I get a serious wiggins when I think about someone eating my bodily fluids, even when I know they're designed for that. For whatever reason, the wiggins disappears when the milk is sucked out mechanically. I have a deep, dark, dank labyrinth of a psyche.

2. Anecdotally I had heard a number of horror stories about babies (including me) who wouldn't take a bottle, either because they'd only accept food from mom or they didn't like the rubber nipple or whatever. Since I knew I'd have to go back to work after a few weeks, the possibility of this happening seemed like a huge hassle, and frankly, this whole baby thing is enough of a hassle without adding extra in unneccessarily (don't get me wrong -- I adore my daughter. But logistically, children are a hassle. They just are.). So starting out with a bottle in the first place just made sense to me.

Despite 1 &2 above, I wanted my daughter to have breastmilk. So I started looking into alternatives. I found out about breastpumps, usually designed for BFing women who return to work, and thought Hey...I bet I could use one of those all the time. Then I thought Surely I'm not the only one who's thought of this. I happened to mention to a friend of mine who has a one year old that I was thinking of trying it, and she said, "Oh, yeah, that's what I did when Max was born. Of course you can do it." I couldn't believe that this was common enough that of the two people I know who have young babies, one of them had tried it! So I did what any young tech savvy pregnant girl would do...I Googled it.

(tune in tomorrow for the rest of the story)
^@^